


Shh, the jalapeños are sleeping!

by jessisamess (j3ssisam3ss)



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:27:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29591391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/j3ssisam3ss/pseuds/jessisamess
Summary: Soulmate AU where 'soul words' appear on your 16th birthday in your soulmate's handwriting and favorite color. They're the first words you'll hear from your soulmate after your sixteenth birthday.Marinette knows the odds of finding her soulmate are slim. With the word 'hello' written across her wrist, she could meet her soulmate and have absolutely no idea. That doesn't mean she can't ensure that her soulmate is 100% certain of who she is. Damian just wishes people would stop making such a big deal out of his soul words.In which Marinette trolls a bunch of people and finds her soulmate in the process.
Relationships: Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Damian Wayne
Comments: 35
Kudos: 604





	Shh, the jalapeños are sleeping!

**Author's Note:**

> This has no relation to The Meaning of Family.

Marinette had always loved the thought of her soulmate. How could she not, with her parents as her model? Tom and Sabine were perfect partners in everything they did - raising Marinette, baking pastries, even video gaming. As a child, Marinette spent hours watching them bake - not because she loved baking but because she loved watching her parents work together. Whether it was putting bread in the oven or washing dishes, they seemed to dance across the kitchen, as if there was a song playing that only they could hear.

She dreamed of the day when she'd meet her soulmate, filling her diary with thoughts of what their soul words might be and hopes for their life together. Her parents cautioned her that all relationships took hard work - soulmate or not. Marinette nodded seriously and spent three days in a frenzy of research on soulmates and healthy relationships, writing down tips in her diary and referring to them frequently.

It didn't help her find her soulmate, but she did notice a subtle increase in the quantity and quality of her friendships.

Then, Hawkmoth entered the scene and suddenly there was no time for dreaming or research. Protecting a city, hunting down an emotional terrorist, and keeping up with school took precedence over thoughts of soulmates and words on her wrist. Occasionally, she wondered about her soulmate - especially when she began stuttering around a certain blond haired, green-eyed boy - but for the most part, she shoved those thoughts out of her mind. Paris was counting on her. Soulmates and romance would simply have to wait.

Unfortunately, the universe had other plans.

The other members of Team Miraculous started turning sixteen. All of them realized who their soulmates were within a day. And all of them had soulmates that were also on Team Miraculous. Every. Single. One.

Ryuko announced that Chat Noir was her soulmate at patrol. Chloe discovered that Luka was her soulmate and scorned him, claiming that the universe must've confused him with Viperion. Bunnyx and King Monkey started countless competitions that inevitably ended with them kissing in an alley. Nino and Alya spent more and more time together, secure in the knowledge that their bond would last a lifetime.

And while Marinette was happy for her friends, it left her isolated and confused. Whether patrolling Paris, in class, or fighting akumas, she was the odd one out. Her longing for her soulmate came back with a vengeance and she started counting down the days until her sixteenth birthday again.

* * *

"It's midnight! Happy Birthday, Marinette!"

Marinette grinned at her friends, clustered around her for her 16th birthday sleepover. "Thanks, girls!"

"Check your wrist, what does it say?" Alya asked eagerly.

Marinette took a deep breath and looked down at her wrist. Then groaned, slumping to the floor and burying her face in a pillow.

"My life is over."

Rose, always empathetic, leaned forward. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Marinette raised her arm and twisted it, showing the word 'hello' written in neat green script on her wrist.

Alya winced. "That's ... unfortunate."

Mylene's brows furrowed in confusion. "Wait, what's wrong with 'hello'?"

Marinette dropped her arm and mumbled something into the pillow.

Alya sat down next to her, rubbing the her friend's back comfortingly. "It's going to be okay, Marinette. I'm sure you can still find your soulmate."

"Easy for you to say," Marinette grumbled. "Your soul words were the most obvious ever. Who'd say that except Nino?"

"I still don't understand," Mylene interjected.

Alix pulled her aside. "How often do you introduce yourself by saying hello, Mylene?"

"Oh."

"Yeah."

* * *

Damian spent the first ten years of his life thinking of soulmates as little as possible. They were a weakness, his grandfather warned him, a trap that could kill him at any moment. The Demon Head had killed his soulmate - centuries ago. On the rare occasions he considered his soulmate, Damian assumed he would follow in his grandfather's footsteps upon reaching his sixteenth birthday.

He ignored the shot of revulsion that ran through him at the thought of killing his soulmate.

Going to live with his father changed _everything_. Suddenly, Damian had to abide by a moral code. Killing was wrong. Torture was wrong. A lot of days, it felt like everything he was good at was wrong.

It took him months to get used to Batman's rules and years to understand them. Somewhere along the way, he stopped hating his brothers - though he'd sooner die than admit it.

When Dick met his soulmate, it threw Damian for a loop. To know that he wouldn't be expected to kill his soulmate here was one thing. To watch his brother parade around, loudly announcing Kori as his soulmate to anyone who would listen was very different. Finally, he snapped.

Dragging Dick into the Manor's library, Damian gave him his coldest glare. "Would you stop announcing Koriand'r as your soulmate to everyone in the entire world? You're going to get her killed, Grayson!"

Dick carefully removed Damian's hands from his collar. "Kori can take care of herself, Damian."

"That's no excuse to put a target on her back!" he hissed. "She is your perfect complement. Quit putting her in needless danger!"

"My perfect complement, huh?" Dick said with a smirk. "I had no clue you were such a romantic, Baby Bird."

Damian flinched. "I'm not."

Dick tilted his head in concern. "What's wrong, little D? You seem almost worried."

"Soulmates can easily become a weakness. That's the whole reason the League made us kill them." Damian scowled at his favorite brother. "You are making it far too obvious that Koriand'r is your weakness."

Dick went pale. "The League made you kill your soulmate?"

"Tch. Not me specifically. I have not yet received my soul words, remember? But yes, it was common practice in the League to kill one's soulmate." Damian looked away. "People that want to hurt you will be more than happy to do so via Kori."

"Damian, Kori has super strength, starbolts, and flight," Dick said, running a hand through his hair. "I pity whoever goes after her to get to me."

Damian's lips tightened. "You still shouldn't be so open about who your soulmate is."

Dick studied him for a moment. "This isn't just about Kori, is it?"

"Who else would it be about?" Damian deflected.

Weighing his words carefully, Dick asked, "Damian, are you concerned that the League will attack your soulmate?"

Damian kept his gaze on the bookshelves, away from his too perceptive brother. "There are many in the League that are angry that I abandoned their teachings."

"Oh, Damian." Dick's voice was full of pity and Damian bristled.

"Forget it. You obviously lack the intellect to see my point." He moved towards the door.

"Damian!" Dick called out. Against his better judgement, Damian turned back around.

"What, Grayson?"

Dick smirked. "Anyone that the universe deems your perfect complement will probably send the League running with its tail between its legs."

In spite of himself, Damian smiled faintly at that. And if he started occasionally imagining a pretty girl with a skill at fighting to rival his own, well, who would know but him?

* * *

"Happy Birthday, Baby Bird!"

"I managed to resist killing you for another year, Demon Spawn. Congrats."

"Happy Birthday, Damian."

Damian rolled his eyes. "I do not understand why you insist on making my birthday into some elaborate production. Nothing has changed."

"Yeah, nothing except now you have your soul words," Dick said with a grin. "Care to share?"

"Tch. No." 

Jason smirked. "Too bad."

Launching himself backwards, Damian barely evaded Jason's grasp for his arm. Unfortunately, that sent him straight into Tim's waiting arms, who pulled up his sleeve, paying no mind to the elbow Damian threw into his gut.

"Come on, guys. If he doesn't want to tell us, don't force it out of him," Dick said.

"Is this... French?" Jason asked, risking his life by stepping close enough to read the words.

Tim hummed in contemplation. "So odds are he won't be meeting her in the U.S."

"Get off," Damian growled.

Abruptly, Jason burst into raucous laughter.

"Dude, those are the weirdest soul words I've ever seen, and Dick's are written in an alien language he can't even read!"

* * *

Despite her friends' reassurances, Marinette didn't find her soulmate within a day. Or a week. Or a month.

Standing on her balcony with Tikki, Marinette let out a discouraged sigh.

"Do you know how many strangers said hello to me today? Fourteen! Any one of them could be my soulmate and I'd never even know!" Marinette waved her arms wildly to demonstrate her frustration. "I just don't understand, Tikki. The rest of Team Miraculous found their soulmate so quickly. Easily. I assumed it was because of the Miraculi - it's pretty rare to meet your soulmate before you're even an adult. Was I wrong?"

Tikki grimaced. "It probably is because of the Miraculi, but not for the reason you think."

"What does that mean?"

Tikki floated upwards. "What is a soulmate, Marinette?"

"Soulmates are two halves of a whole, destined for unparalleled mutual affection. Often considered 'meant to be,' it is rare for soulmates to live happily without one another," Marinette rattled off the definition with the ease of someone who'd spent far to long staring at it.

"Wrong," Tikki spat, voice unusually harsh. Marinette nearly flinched at the venom in her tone.

"That's the definition, I swear," Marinette replied defensively.

Tikki snorted derisively, angrier than Marinette had ever seen her. "I knew the idea of soulmates had been perverted over the millennia, but not this badly. Please tell me you have a better definition."

Marinette stared blankly at her.

Tikki sighed. "Okay, let's try something different. What do you want in a soulmate?"

"Someone who always has my back," Marinette said immediately. "Someone I can trust with everything - scars, weaknesses, struggles."

Tikki nodded approvingly.

"Someone who makes me want to be better," she continued, "as both a hero and a civilian."

She thought of the rocks in her stomach whenever civilians begged Ladybug for selfies, the way all of Team Miraculous still hero-worshiped Ladybug even after working with her for years. "Someone who loves me for who I am and not for what I can do for him."

"Someone who completes me."

Tikki groaned. "You were doing so well there for a minute."

Marinette refocused on her kwami. "What?"

"Soulmates aren't two halves of a whole," Tikki said heatedly. "No one 'completes' you, Marinette! You're complete, worthy, lovable all on your own. Soulmates are partners that work well together, that have the potential to be stronger together. Your soulmate brings out the best in you."

"Who in the world brings out the best in me if not the members of Team Miraculous?" Marinette asked incredulously.

Tikki shrugged. "Who knows? But quite frankly, I don't think Team Miraculous has what it takes to challenge you, to bring out the best in you. You're the strongest Ladybug I've had in millennia _and_ you're the Guardian. Not to mention all your accomplishments as Marinette. You will walk a different path than they will."

Marinette snorted. "Okay, Fluff. But that doesn't exactly solve my soulmate dilemma."

"I'm sure there are others in your position," Tikki comforted. "Not everyone can have easy soul words the way Nino and Alya do."

Huffing a sigh, Marinette thought longingly of the ease of Alya's words.

'Are you sure you want to tangle with the master DJ himself?' Who would ever say that to her besides Nino?

Suddenly, Marinette jolted upright. "That's it, Tikki!"

"What's it?" Tikki hadn't thought she was imparting any particularly clever wisdom.

"I may not have super easy soul words, but I can make sure that my soulmate does!" Marinette lunged for a her sketchbook and a pencil.

"I don't understand."

"You'll see, Tikki," Marinette nearly cackled. "You'll see."

* * *

"Any luck finding your soulmate?" Jon Kent grinned at Damian.

"I just got my words two days ago," Damian groused. "No, I haven't found my soulmate."

"Ooh can I see them?"

Damian sighed and held out his arm. "If I don't show you, I'm sure you'll just find out from one of my brothers."

Jon burst out laughing.

"Not a word, Kent," Damian hissed.

"I'm sorry," Jon said, trying and failing to control his laughter. "I'm just wondering who in the world would dare to say something that ridiculous to you."

"My soulmate, apparently," Damian replied, his words bitter.

"Hey, this is a good thing!" Jon protested. "As long as you keep the number of people who know your words to a minimum, you won't ever have to worry about someone pretending to be your soulmate. After all, who could possibly guess _that_?" He dissolved into laughter again.

Damian groaned and ordered water-proof concealer.

"At least your soulmate has good handwriting!"

* * *

The cute barista grinned at her. "Hello."

"Don't freak out," Marinette began, "but my neighbor lives next to me."

Cute Barista blinked in confusion. "Okay? Isn't that the way the whole neighbor thing works?"

There wasn't an ounce of recognition on his face and Marinette sighed internally. "Could I have a chocolate mocha please?"

"Hello!" This time, it was her desk partner in Intro to Textiles.

"Waffles are pancakes - but with abs!"

"What?"

"Hello. I'm Avery."

"Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato."

"Are you okay?" Chocolate brown eyes viewed her with concern.

Marinette had to bite back a laugh. Trolling people this way had slowly become one of her favorite things to do. It almost made up for the fact that none of them are her soulmate. Almost.

"Hello."

"Can I interest you in buying a one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eater? Monica refuses to do her part in feeding him."

"Hello! Are you Marinette?"

"Time for a purple porcupine piñata, I guess."

* * *

Damian was really tired of this whole soulmate business.

"A pleasure to meet you."

The woman in front of him - Megan? Margaret? - gasped. "You said my soul words! We must be soulmates!"

Damian rolled his eyes. "Apologies ma'am, you did not say mine. It must be a coincidence."

"Of course not! Let me see your words!"

"No."

"Any luck finding your soulmate, Baby Bird?"

"I told you, Grayson. I'm not looking."

"Sure, sure. Let me know if you want any help."

"Hello, I'm Cynthia Northam."

"Damian Wayne."

"Those are my soul words!"

He stifled a groan.

"Thank you for being with us today, Mr. Wayne."

"It's always a pleasure," Damian lied. "And please, call me Damian. Mr. Wayne is my father."

Jessica Abernathy leaned forward. "Alright, Damian. Now recently, you've received a lot of heat for rejecting girls left and right, callously and harshly. So much so that your non-profit work is suffering. Would you like a chance to tell your side of the story?"

Damian shrugged elegantly. "There's not much to tell. Every girl that I've rejected has falsely claimed that we're soulmates. I don't feel obligated to be kind when a woman is trying to build a relationship on lies and false pretenses."

"I see," Jessica replied. "And have you met your soulmate yet?"

"No."

"There you have it, ladies! Damian Wayne is still single!"

Damian was _really_ tired of this whole soulmate business.

* * *

Marinette sighed as she began patrol alone. Again.

It was the third time in as many weeks that Adrien had bailed on her to spend time with Kagami.

Not that she blamed him - she'd want to hang out with her soulmate too! And Kagami got so little free time to start with. Just, did they have to leave her alone all the time?

She shook off her loneliness and jealousy. She'd find her soulmate eventually. Till then, there was a city to patrol.

Swinging off, she gave a joyous whoop as she sailed through the air

_There's really nothing like yo-yoing across Paris._

Two hours, four failed muggings, and a cat stuck in a tree later, she stopped on one of her favorite rooftops overlooking the Seine.

Then her eyes caught on someone in the shadows. Domino mask, traffic light costume that was an offense to the eyes - where did she recognize this guy from?

The answer came in a flash - he was Robin, Batman's partner. Although she supposed he _could_ be an akuma. She didn't feel the magical energy she associated with akumas though.

Standing up and walking over, she greeted the masked vigilante.

He fell off the roof.

* * *

Damian walked purposefully through the City of Love.

He'd been there for a week now, investigating reports of a supervillain in Paris. Though he'd managed to gain a good bit of intel on Hawkmoth's puppets - akumas, sorry - very little was known about Hawkmoth himself or the heroes who fought against him.

There was no helping it. He'd have to talk to the heroes. And they'd probably assume he was an akuma and fight him. He sighed.

"You couldn't have sent Grayson, Father," he muttered.

"Umm, excuse me," a petite woman with blond hair stopped him.

"Yes, miss?"

Her eyes went wide. "You just said my soul words!"

Damian fought the urge to roll his eyes. "You didn't say mine. Apologies, miss, it must've been a coincidence."

"But - but - "

He walked away before she could come up with some excuse to keep him there.

Returning to the hotel, he changed into his Robin costume and set out into the night.

Finding Ladybug was surprisingly easy - her costume made her stick out like a sore thumb. Catching her was another story. Damian was hard pressed to keep up with her and her magical yo-yo while staying hidden. He breathed a secret sigh of relief when she stopped on a rooftop.

Landing silently on the same rooftop, he considered the best way to approach her.

Before he could though, she walked over and whispered,

"Shh, the jalapeños are sleeping!"

Damian fell off the roof.

_Ladybug is my soulmate?_

* * *

Her yo-yo wrapped around Robin's ankle, pulling him back onto the roof. As it released, he nearly stumbled again and her brows furrowed. She hadn't thought Gotham vigilantes were so clumsy.

He stared at her for a moment, then said, "Hello."

Marinette's world ground to a halt.

_Wait, did he fall off the roof because I said his words?_

"What's your favorite color?" she asked suspiciously.

"Green."

"How's your handwriting?"

"Impeccable."

_Holy croissants, Robin is my soulmate._

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, this was kind of a weird thing to write for me, cause I'm not a huge fan of the concept of soulmates. But I got the idea of a frustrated Marinette saying ridiculous, random stuff to find her soulmate and couldn't let it go. So here we are.


End file.
